sometimes, people bear the pains and burdens of their past relationships for a while. They build a shell around themselves for a long time and could decide not to venture into relationships again.
Sometimes, people bear the pains and burdens of their past relationships for a while. They build a shell around themselves for a long time and could decide not to venture into relationships again.
It is understandable that being heart-broken could look like the end of the world to many, some people in extreme cases become suicidal. But in reality, life goes on as it never ends. Time heals all wounds and before long, these people who have been defeated in love are ready to get up and start living again. However, people make so many mistakes when they go into the new relationships. Many replay the incidents that led to the break-up and blame themselves for it. They feel if they had acted differently, things could have been fine. Find below some of the mistakes people make when going into a new relationship;
1. Diminished Self Worth:
Many people go into new relationships with crumbled faith in themselves. Their past relationships could have dealt them blows heavy enough to daze them and rob them of their self-esteem. The pain and hurt of these past experiences leave them weak and make them strive for perfection in the new relationship. The new partners may sense their desperation and tag it as a point of weakness. If care isn’t taken, the relationship may end up being broken as people like that are most times taken for granted.
2. Not Defining The Relationship:
It is essential to define a relationship before starting it. While one may be depressed and in dire need of an arm of comfort, it would be necessary to ask questions and know what you gain to achieve in the relationship. Many people find themselves in some unnamed union in their moments of weakness. Defining the relationship would help you know your limits and boundaries and also protect you from getting heart broken again.
3. Accepting Responsibility For Everything:
Relationships come with hiccups. There’s no smooth ride in life, challenges are bound to spring up and when this happens it should be handled with maturity. When people start to see themselves as the problem in a relationship, it becomes an issue. While it may be good to accept responsibility at times, it would also be wise to acknowledge the fact that no one is perfect. Avoid seeing yourself as a failure, the relationship could break despite investing your all.
4. Wrong Assumption:
Your partner isn’t your ex; therefore, don’t assume he or she knows what to do without you asking. Starting a new relationship is like starting from the scratch. You have to tell each other the basics and grow in love. Your partner may not be telepathic; do not assume he or she can read your mind. Learn to communicate clearly at all times.
5. Believing Your Happiness Depends On Your Partner:
While a new relationship may bring forth bursts of freshness and add sparks to people’s lives especially after a long time of unhappiness, it should be clearly understood by all that one’s happiness shouldn’t be dependent on a person. Many people, on venturing into a new relationship transfer their happiness to their partners. So when they are hurt, they become depressed and sad. Learn to be responsible for your own happiness; it’s not your partner’s job to make you happy. You can only give out once you have found happiness in yourself.
6. Being Too Jealous:
Relax! It’s a new relationship; don’t go acting jealous and crazy over your partner. You are just starting out and trying to make something work, remember? And no matter how strong the feeling of insecurity is, it would be reasonable to calm down in order not to destroy the relationship. Showing certain behavior considered erratic could have an adverse effect on your relationship as your partner may not be willing to put up with your attitude if a long term relationship was to be considered.
7. Talking About Your Ex:
Your new partner is expected to know some things about you. This is normal and quite important. However, discussing your ex may not be something that would interest your partner. It may leave them with a sour taste and change their mood. If this becomes a habit, you may be passing a message to him or her. They naturally feel you are still attached to your ex and could leave if the ex apologized.
It is understandable that being heart-broken could look like the end of the world to many, some people in extreme cases become suicidal. But in reality, life goes on as it never ends. Time heals all wounds and before long, these people who have been defeated in love are ready to get up and start living again. However, people make so many mistakes when they go into the new relationships. Many replay the incidents that led to the break-up and blame themselves for it. They feel if they had acted differently, things could have been fine. Find below some of the mistakes people make when going into a new relationship;
1. Diminished Self Worth:
Many people go into new relationships with crumbled faith in themselves. Their past relationships could have dealt them blows heavy enough to daze them and rob them of their self-esteem. The pain and hurt of these past experiences leave them weak and make them strive for perfection in the new relationship. The new partners may sense their desperation and tag it as a point of weakness. If care isn’t taken, the relationship may end up being broken as people like that are most times taken for granted.
2. Not Defining The Relationship:
It is essential to define a relationship before starting it. While one may be depressed and in dire need of an arm of comfort, it would be necessary to ask questions and know what you gain to achieve in the relationship. Many people find themselves in some unnamed union in their moments of weakness. Defining the relationship would help you know your limits and boundaries and also protect you from getting heart broken again.
3. Accepting Responsibility For Everything:
Relationships come with hiccups. There’s no smooth ride in life, challenges are bound to spring up and when this happens it should be handled with maturity. When people start to see themselves as the problem in a relationship, it becomes an issue. While it may be good to accept responsibility at times, it would also be wise to acknowledge the fact that no one is perfect. Avoid seeing yourself as a failure, the relationship could break despite investing your all.
4. Wrong Assumption:
Your partner isn’t your ex; therefore, don’t assume he or she knows what to do without you asking. Starting a new relationship is like starting from the scratch. You have to tell each other the basics and grow in love. Your partner may not be telepathic; do not assume he or she can read your mind. Learn to communicate clearly at all times.
5. Believing Your Happiness Depends On Your Partner:
While a new relationship may bring forth bursts of freshness and add sparks to people’s lives especially after a long time of unhappiness, it should be clearly understood by all that one’s happiness shouldn’t be dependent on a person. Many people, on venturing into a new relationship transfer their happiness to their partners. So when they are hurt, they become depressed and sad. Learn to be responsible for your own happiness; it’s not your partner’s job to make you happy. You can only give out once you have found happiness in yourself.
6. Being Too Jealous:
Relax! It’s a new relationship; don’t go acting jealous and crazy over your partner. You are just starting out and trying to make something work, remember? And no matter how strong the feeling of insecurity is, it would be reasonable to calm down in order not to destroy the relationship. Showing certain behavior considered erratic could have an adverse effect on your relationship as your partner may not be willing to put up with your attitude if a long term relationship was to be considered.
7. Talking About Your Ex:
Your new partner is expected to know some things about you. This is normal and quite important. However, discussing your ex may not be something that would interest your partner. It may leave them with a sour taste and change their mood. If this becomes a habit, you may be passing a message to him or her. They naturally feel you are still attached to your ex and could leave if the ex apologized.
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