Breaking News! Valentine’s Day will now hold on March 28...In Nigeria

Good day my fellow Nigerian men,

We the Association of Loving Nigerian Men (ALMN) have released this statement concerning the above stated topic - please read and pass on to our brothers...

First off, let me start by thanking you all for being who you truly are; it is not an easy feat to be a man, more so a Nigerian man. Those of you who are married work hard for your children and wives (and their extended families), some of you are permitted by religion to have more than one wife so you take on the overbearing task of having two, three of them.

Those of us who cannot marry more than one spend our entire lives hiding relationships from our partners. My brothers, it is not easy but we are Nigerian men, we must do it and have a strong opinion about it.

Even my single brothers, I know it is not easy as well; with the thousands of girls available at your disposal, it is not easy to commit to one. Thank God for side chicks, may they remain loyal and quiet as we journey our way through life.

To the matter at hand…

We have now concluded the some people in the Nigerian Government are hell bent on frustrating our existence in this country - it has become glaring that some unknown persons in high places want to put us to shame at all costs. I say some people want our wives, spouses, girlfriends, love interests and/or side chicks to say we are incompetent as men. Whoever these faceless people are, you will not give our wives, spouses, girlfriends, love interests and/or side chicks mouth to talk.

Last year, the Independent National Electoral Commissionannounced that the 2015 Presidential, Gubernatorial and Legislative elections would be held on February 14, 2015,Valentine’s Day. We Nigerian men were mortified, livid and shocked all at once!

St. Valentine (may his good soul rest in peace) took the pain, spent his entire life making sure the world took one day out of every year for lovers to show their partners some extra love. He literally gave his life for the day. Somewhere down the line in Nigeria, that turned into men spending lots of money on their women. We don’t complain about the status quo, we just do as we are told.

INEC just had to mess things up this Valentine’s Day in 2015. Jega, you had only one job and you still screwed it up!

Now, let me dispel the rumours we’ve heard about some of we Nigerian men being extremely happy that Valentine’s Day would not hold as due to the elections; this is a lie. We were sad and totally anguished in our hearts. We were so looking forward to making things work this year…

As soon as the news came about, we the Association of Loving Nigerian Men (ALMN) got together for a council meeting. Most of our excos took time off their busy schedules to attend the emergency meeting.

We came to the conclusion that even though INEC might have wanted to throw a monkey wrench in our plans, we would find another means to spend all of our January Salary on our women. We then postponed Vals Day to March 28, 2015 but would disclose this officially on the night of February 13, 2015.

We were totally shocked to hear that Jega and his INEC gang have also postponed the Presidential Elections to March 28 also! We have no other cause but to believe that some people just don’t want us to celebrate Vals day!

The ALMN met this morning and have concluded that our Vals Day will still hold on March 28, 2015. We will stay at home and be with our women; as the election will be hold simultaneously, we won’t be going out to any dinner or spending money buying anything on that day. For our single men, they will stay away from their lovers' houses as the Election day requires little movement around town.

We feel we have to stand our grounds here. Nothing, not even INEC will stop us and we will not move the date again.

Thank you and stand strong my fellow Nigerian men.

General Secretary,

Osagie Alonge.