DECEMBER!!! Happy new month!

 Finally its December...hip hip...hurray...i can taste Christmas in the air...tastes like fried rice and fried chicken with a bottle of coke...i remember all those Christmas i wasn't allowed to drink a full bottle of coke by myself...i would frown my face and think to myself 'when i grow up I'll buy a crate of coke and drink it all'.... lol ...if looks could kill, my mum would have died every Christmas...(don't look at me like that, you went through the same ordeal too...December is the best time of the year...it’s the time when everyone runs home to see family and old friends, it’s also the time you see different fashion blunders that should be punishable by a week on wearing sack bags as clothes, i mean, how can you sew akanchawa lace then wear it with jeans and supra...you should be arrested...oh Joan rivers,
you died too early. December is also the time them thirsty demons come out to play(Nigerian mentality)...you would see some people clutching bibles in the planes and buses as if it would turn into a parachute or give the driver sense when he's over speeding...i remember when i was little, my mum would draw our ears and say 'don't go outside o, before them carry una put for bag, i go just born another one'...(that woman ehh)...during December you hear tales of kids being turned into yams and handkerchiefs, you see men checking their private parts every time a stranger touches them or walks by, even them runs girls run to their standby boos  in order to avoid stories that touch.

I asked a friend of mine what she was doing for Christmas and she said swimming, every Christmas swimming, una no dey tire?...water no dey pool apart from Christmas day?...some people would flood to the fast food joints as if they've never eaten there before...i remember one annoying Christmas when kingfisher opened in port Harcourt...hmmm, see planning, we (the kids) thought we would eat fish to the point of growing gills and fins (lai lai)...Christmas day came and we were happy, i woke up dancing galala ( you remember galala and swuooor, those stupid dance moves that made people look like they were frogs with the opening of the legs and bending down)...i was in a good mood, nothing could stop me from eating enough fish to render them extinct... i had my bath, got dressed first and waited patiently, we were soon ready, all of us with our glasses and fake watches that couldn't tell the time, even had a fake toy camera...my mum bounced us down the streets of town, our neighbors were oooouing and aaarghing...'see as una resemble better person' they said, we were feeling fly, we didn't even eat before leaving, finally we were at KINGFISHER, Charlie the place was parked, we went in, took  a table, and watched other kids eat. For five whole minutes we were watching and soon it became torture, i began to look around, where is mummy? ,The woman had said she was going to order. When she returned it was with two big bottles of water, i smiled, thinking the fish would be so much we would need all the water. Hehehehe....next thing i heard was 'oya lets go outside'...'ehh?, mummy why'...mummy replied 'i said stand up'...our last born asked 'what of d fish, mama i want fish'...one, two, three seconds of stares from my mum and we got with the program...we just went out boning like there was no tomorrow...all we bought were two bottles of water as we were leaving mum saw a photographer and decided to mark the memorable day...we all posed but we didn't smile...that picture is still in our album, every time our last born sees it she just does yimu...isn't December  full of memories?...happy new month.

Brownie